thoughts...
so a while ago i started a painting. at the time the impetus for the piece was relevant. lately, it's not so relevant, no. so i let it go in my mind. thinking it would just be left unfinished and work on other things instead.
and it sat.
and sat.
and sat.
and i let myself go. and i stopped painting.
today i started again. and i mourn the time that i've lost. i cried for it, a little.
i am overjoyed that i've started again. there's something that happens when i don't Work. i get stuck. and getting unstuck is often a difficult process. but once i do, i feel so much better. like a fever breaking, i come to myself. i feel whole again.
the box is burned again. the prison-like box made up of my fears and insecurities is burned again. i realize now that that is something i must maintain and i can't think that just because i did it once that it will stay in ashes.
constant vigilance. i must be constantly vigilant.
how "mad-eye" moody of me.
april 4, 2014: edited to add - http://vimeo.com/23288922
and it sat.
and sat.
and sat.
and i let myself go. and i stopped painting.
today i started again. and i mourn the time that i've lost. i cried for it, a little.
i am overjoyed that i've started again. there's something that happens when i don't Work. i get stuck. and getting unstuck is often a difficult process. but once i do, i feel so much better. like a fever breaking, i come to myself. i feel whole again.
the box is burned again. the prison-like box made up of my fears and insecurities is burned again. i realize now that that is something i must maintain and i can't think that just because i did it once that it will stay in ashes.
constant vigilance. i must be constantly vigilant.
how "mad-eye" moody of me.
april 4, 2014: edited to add - http://vimeo.com/23288922
posted by evera at
1:40 PM
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